I am a teacher?

I am a teacher.

Admitting something publicly is the first step towards acceptance, right?

I have come to the realization (decision? presumption? guess?) that it would be in my best interest to accept the fact that I may be in a good position to be a teacher of some sort. I have received many signs, indications and hints that this may be the field in which some of my weightier talents lie. These indications have come in various forms, from things bosses and co-workers have said to me on certain occasions, to what my friends have said or asked me, even down to various skill-tests and psychics. Each one I have individually disregarded as being any kind of a sign; however, collectively--if I'm honest with myself about how often I have heard/felt/seen that kind of reference-- I may have to admit that mayhaps (I like that word!), my higher self has been pointing this out to me for most of my life, and I've only decided to listen now.

I do know why I would hesitate to accept this as something for me. First and foremost, let me say that I have nothing but the highest regard for teachers and their abilities to impart knowledge. My own issues regarding the aspect of my being considered any sort of teacher to anyone lies in my own insecurities regarding my own worth, and the worth of what I know. I also have to admit that when the idea of actually being labelled "teacher" came to mind, the first thought in my head went something like, "I suppose those that can't do, teach!" Again, please let me reiterate that this is not a general statement against teachers; it has always been a derogatory statement against myself (which is something I am trying to get out of the habit of doing). My second thought had to do with my "teaching by example" (translation: "What not to do.").

Maybe I need to start thinking nicer things about myself? Yes. (And this will more than likely be a topic for another day.)

I have always felt deep in my heart that my stronger talents lay in my writing and crafting (which to me are one and the same). When I am writing or making something of my own design, time flies and I am at total peace with myself (this, I know, is an indication of directions I should be focusing on). My fifth grade teacher, Mrs. Robichaud, was the first adult to notice and praise something I had written in such a way that made me feel clever and gifted. I knew then that writing was special to me. When I write or create something the first thing I want to do is share it with others (not necessarily all others--yet another indication of low self-esteem). I have noticed that when I learn something I consider new and meaningful to me I have a strong desire to share it with others (this impulse also carries over into the 'consumer' category; if I purchase something I think is wonderful I will tell everyone about it--if I don't buy it for them first!). Also when I do learn something new, images and ideas of ways to show it to others pop into my head regularly for a while afterwards. There's got to be a reason for that!

You have all heard the expression that refers to the student "becoming" the teacher. I suppose in my case the opposite would be true. I have no trouble digesting information and am quite gifted at "verbal regurgitation". My own inadequacies are usually in the execution or practice of theories, rather than the actual grasping of them. Since we learn by repetition, I figure that the more I write about what I've learned I am increasing my chances of reprogramming my subconscious to enable me to better put into practice my new knowledge, and if I can help even one other person to better understand something at the same time that is even better. It's a win-win situation.

So, this note serves as a sort of mission statement. I am formally putting forth my intentions to you and the Universe that I will continue to study, learn and grow as a creator of my own reality and co-creator of my world; I will share what I've learned with anyone who chooses to listen in the hope of helping others as well as aiding my own education, with the certainty that by each of us continuing our own individual growth we are improving our collective consciousness and our planet.